Wicked Business

Farrah Forke caricature

2010-09-16T13:37:00.006-04:00

A caricature of the lovely and talented Farrah Forke, best known for her role of Alex Lambert on "Wings".

Good Golly, Miss Molly

2010-09-07T10:52:00.003-04:00

My friend Molly is the biggest basketball fan I've ever known. I meant to post this earlier but the electronic file went ka-poof. This is a scan from the only hard copy I have -- sorry for the poor quality.

Kitty's feast

2010-03-19T08:47:00.003-04:00

I did this almost fifteen years ago, yet it remains my all-time favorite piece. Done in completely in scratchboard - or "analog" , for those of you not familiar with non-digital media.

Life drawings

2010-03-11T13:06:00.005-05:00

Not sure why I'm posting this, as it cannot profit me in the least, but here are some life drawing sketches done years ago. I really need to resharpen my skills.

Tom or Lyle...?

2010-03-09T14:37:00.002-05:00

I wasn't going to post this until I finished coloring it, but then I thought, "What the hell." This was meant to be a cariacture of Tom Waits, but along the way it devolved into a hybrid of Tom and Lyle Lovett. At any rate, I love that hangdog expression. Will add the finished color version in a few weeks, fingers crossed.

Constance the Conqueror

2010-02-25T09:02:00.004-05:00

Did this "portrait" for my friend Constance. She's a little gothy and a whole lot of fun... as the picture proves.

The Devil in me

2010-02-24T15:35:00.002-05:00

A self-portrait for my personal website (currently under construction). Typecasting, I know.

Bomb!

2010-02-23T10:47:00.003-05:00

I was digging through some old files and forgotten about this one. It just makes me laugh.

Sunflower Head will totally swipe your kidney

2010-02-08T12:35:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I draw things that make perfect sense, and sometimes... I don't. Beware that Sunflower Head. He's a good boy. Sort of.

The Cooperstown Hawkeyes will rue the day they rejected me!

2010-02-08T12:16:00.004-05:00

This is a logo I recently submitted for a contest for the fledgling Cooperstown Hawkeyes. Naturally, I lost. Bah. I only hope the winner's logo isn't some slick modern-day design - yuck. At any rate, I'm quite proud of my effort:

One year later, a new post! Woot!

2009-12-22T09:33:00.002-05:00

Um, here's this year's holiday card... late, as usual.

Chrismukkah!

2008-12-16T08:32:00.007-05:00

I really don't post as often as I should. That's number 4,716 on my list of New Year's resolutions. Anyway, every year I try to create a Hanukkah/Christmas card for both my Jewish and gentile friends. (I love mixing the two holidays for comedic value, but mostly I'm too lazy to do two separate designs.)

Please enjoy 2008's Chrismukkah card!

The Southworth Challenge

2008-05-15T10:18:00.006-04:00

Paul Southworth of "Ugly Hill" fame issued a challenge: re-do one of his strips with different dialogue. Here for your pleasure is Bill Murray's "Groundhog Day"... reinterpreted.

Be careful what you wish for, Paul.

Week Nine: It's all over but the crying

2007-12-04T09:08:00.000-05:00

Wow. That was fun. For the past nine weeks I shared the rarefied air of one Stephen Silver, a real gen-yew-ine character designer in the animation industry. And was I scared? Nervous? Intimidated?

Damn straight I was.

Let me tell you, boys and girls. Take his course. Learn from the man. My previous posts don't really indicate how far Stephen's brought me along -- the past two months I've done literally hundreds of sketches and exercises, trying to hone the skills I've let atrophy. Suffice it to say I'm not the same erratic doodler I was. Whereas I was once wretched, I'm close to becoming mediocre. Kangaroo leaps, people!

The final project was to reimagine, finish and color the "Fat Joe" project from Week One. Compare those initial sketches with this one, then sign up for the course. Now.

Schoolism, Week Seven: Expressions and Attitudes

2007-11-21T11:22:00.000-05:00

This week's assignment was really fun: time to see The Many Moods of Rocky. I know they're just rough bluelines, but I actually prefer posting these than the cleanups. You can really get a feel for the energy put into them.

Okay, okay. I'll post the cleanups later. Spoilsports.

Schoolism, Week Six: Turnarounds

2007-11-21T11:17:00.000-05:00

Boys and girls, sorry this one is so late. Work's been nasty and I'm just plain negilgent. Here's the turnarounds for Rocky. Still missing a back three-quarters view, so I'll add it later.

Schoolism, Week Five: Evolution of a character design

2007-11-06T11:13:00.000-05:00

Step 1: I used the Rocky design because I think he’s closer to my original concept. I’m still not happy with the Jekylls and continue to work on them. In Lesson Three I found a different body and face that I really liked a lot, so I mixed them. I think they work great together.

Step 2: I'm having a problem with deciding what kind of neck to use. I try both a beefy kind and a pencil neck but don’t like either. Then I remember how Edward G Robinson would wear a really starchy collar in his gangster films. The cylinder shape in the middle of those sloped shoulders makes for a terrific combo, so I keep it. At this stage I’m not tracing, as Silver says this is the kiss of death. He's right. This is a great opportunity to make further changes. I bring in the lapels, so the collars will look more in line. The suit should look so sharp, so much you could cut yourself on the edges. I also make the feet a little bigger because I’ll add some detail to the shoes later.

Step 3: I try using a Pigma Micron brush to do the inking but I hate the results I’m getting, so I use a .05 pen instead. I start to thicken in lines, but still treat the drawing as a rough. Clean-up will take place in Photoshop and Illustrator, where I can really hone the sharpness I can get on my lines. The brim of the hat is thickened a bit and I curve the lapels some. I add some grey to the sides of his hair.

Step 4: First cleanup. It’s always tempting to copy and mirror image in Photoshop. It’s always easy to tell when an artist has taken that shortcut – personally I think it’s a cop-out. So I don’t copy, except for the buttons on the jacket and the detail on the shoes, which should look similar. Otherwise all the lines are done separately. The hat is given a back to make it look less flat. I take the curves from the lapels and straighten them again. The size of the head is reduced and and the chin is lifted away from the shoulders. A cleft chin and a small gap in the mouth are added. At this point I’m tempted to thicken the outer lines even further. It still seems off a bit.

Step 5: Final cleanup. The thicker lines definitely work. Extra features are added -- cuff buttons, a handkerchief. I move the outer cheek in a bit. I think this is a winner. I added some color but that’s not set in stone – it’s likely to change the more I play with my palette.

That’s it! Easy as pie, no?

Schoolism, Week Three, Part Two

2007-10-23T13:27:00.000-04:00

There was an additional project this week, testing our caricature skills. We had to draw from an existing photograph as realistically as possible, then toss it all aside and try to draw it from memory. I almost didn't post this, and I may even delete it later. So get your jollies now, folks.

Schoolism, Week Three, Part One

2007-10-23T13:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, last week it was the silhouette phase of the Jekyll and Hyde project. This week, Stephen narrowed down the character shapes he thought worked best. Keep in mind these aren't set in stone; I'm still trying to find something that really resonates. At least I now have a base to work from.

For those of you who don't remember, my concept is Henry jekyll as a down-and-out salesman in the 1930s who transforms into Rocky Hyde, Public Enemy Number One. Enjoy!

Schoolism, Week Two

2007-10-15T08:36:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I'm given an assignment I think will be a snap, and it winds up being the hardest frickin' thing on the planet. That was this. The concept is deceptively simple: "throughout this course we'll be designing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Can be from any time period, past present or future. Create a new take, a new style on the characters. Are they spacemen, pirates, cowboys? You get the idea. Be sure you know the basic concept of your characters before you silhouette them."

So, my take:

Henry Jekyll is a failed salesman who lives in a rat-infested apartment. It is the height of the Great Depression and he is down to his last two nickels. He is about to commit suicide when the Devil offers him a deal. He can be “Rocky” Hyde, notorious gangster, and have it all: money, power, women, a mansion, and the chance to get even with the world. And all he has to in exchange is a small favor for the Devil…
(Believe it or not this is meant to be a comedy!)

WHO – Henry Jekyll, door to door salesman

WHERE – Chicago or any large metropolis

WHEN – the 1930s during the Great Depression.

PERSONALITY/ ATTITUDE – Defeated, depressed, helpless, hopeless.

APPEARANCE – Dresses like he slept in his clothes on a park bench. Always rumpled, never neat. Everything he owns is second-hand.

AGE – late 30s to mid 40s.

MANNERISMS – Fidgety, stares at his feet as he walks. Rarely stands up straight except when trying to make a sale, but even then it’s not very convincing.

PHYSICAL DETAILS – Sad brown eyes with bags under them. Almost never smiles. Never looks angry though just depressed and or tired to comedic effect. Has frown lines that look like a wax dummy melted. Face is nothing but soft mushy features.

WHO – “Rocky” Hyde, notorious gangster

PERSONALITY/ ATTITUDE – Aggressive, suspicious, cold blooded.

APPEARANCE – Wears expensive suits and is always dressed to the nines. His hair is perfect, his nails are manicured, his shoes are shined like mirrors.

AGE – late 30s to mid 40s.

MANNERISMS – Threatening even when standing still. When he walks into a room everything stops. He can go from charming to violent in a snap. Has violent mood swings.

PHYSICAL DETAILS – Harsh coal-black eyes that never stop staring, or even blink. His brow is always furrowed, even when happy. His teeth are crooked which is why he almost never smiles. When he does smile it is devoid of any joy or happiness. His face has sharp features and high cheekbones. He is almost always smoking a cigar or cigarette.

So, you tell me: was I close?

Schoolism, Week One

2007-10-04T19:01:00.001-04:00

Has it really been over a month since I posted? Adios, September. Guess work's been a whole lot busier than I expected. So... I'm currently taking Stephen Silver's Character Design class and man, it's really recharged my cartoony batteries! The below are examples of our first project: draw a character named Fat Joe from Eugene O'Neill's "The Long Voyage Home".

Joe, as you can tell, is a Pilates instructor.

As described in the play, Fat Joe's a bar proprietor who is "a gross bulk of a man with an enormous stomach. His face is red and bloated, his little piggish eyes being almost concealed by rolls of fat. The thick fingers of his big hands are loaded with cheap rings and a gold watch chain of cable-like proportions stretches across his checked waistcoat."

Charming fellow, no? So. This is my first real attempt at doing character design. I'll be posting my progress here as the class continues. As always, comments are always welcome and insults are totally expected.

Snake plus Groin equals Hilarity

2007-08-13T09:30:00.000-04:00

From an old 2004 article I stumbled across this weekend:

GREENWICH TWP. (New Jersey) -- A 20-year-old Washington Street man was arrested after allegedly being found with two exotic snakes stolen from a Franklin Township pet store -- one of which bit him. The man, charged with receiving stolen property, allegedly had rigged a canvas bag inside his trousers to conceal the snakes and put them in the bag through a cutout pocket, police said. One of the pythons reportedly managed to get partly out of the canvas bag and bit the man on the scrotum, said police.

Now, is this a true story or just some urban legend? Short answers: Don't know and don't care. What I do know is Funny Story equals Funny Cartoon. Enjoy.

The cutest Angel of Death ever

2007-07-26T09:21:00.000-04:00

I live for stories like this. If you're an ailurophobe, or just plain superstitious, read about the cat that knows when you're about to die. I happen to love the little killers, especially my tubby tabby, who occasionally doubles as a footstool.

I don't care, I love you anyway

2007-07-26T08:26:00.000-04:00

Here's an illustration I proposed to the fine folks who do the Nightfall Series in scenic downtown Chattanooga. Rejected and unloved by the Powers That Be, but it still holds a place my widdle heart.

Ugly Hill animation

2007-07-21T19:50:00.001-04:00

Here's the animation!

Paul Southworth is a god. A GOD, I tell you.

2007-07-20T11:05:00.000-04:00

Recently I had the cool honor of doing a (very) short Flash animation for the incomparable Paul Southworth of "Ugly Hill" fame. If you don't know what that is, get your tuchis over there. Now. Don't worry, I'll wait until you come back. For those who are too lazy to click on that itty-bitty hyperlink to find out for yourself, UH is one the funniest comic strips ever produced since Funky Winkerbean went on a killing spree. Paul has that oh-so-rare quality of being as fantastically funny and he is talented. And he linked to me, which also makes him America's Greatest Hero.

Superdud

2007-07-09T09:22:00.000-04:00

Even a Man of Steel should fear a woman scorned. This guy can move planets but not call the next morning?

When commercial art goes horribly wrong

2007-07-05T11:10:00.000-04:00

A quick lesson for any aspiring artists entering the field of commercial art. Below is an illustration I did for my former employers. (Who've since gone belly-up, but that's just a coincidence. Honest.) Anyway, they were wanting some kids' t-shirts printed up for the Riverbend Festival.

"Make it festive", they said. "Like, put a cute cartoon animal on there. Oh, what's that cute cartoon with all the animals stealing food?"

"Over the Hedge?", I winced.

"Yeah, that's it! Do the turtle from that movie! Draw him, but don't make it look exactly like him, because we don't want to get sued. Just make it look close enough that people will get the idea."

"When do you need it?"

"Two days ago."

This is a standard industry deadline, by the way. Doesn't matter what field of work you're in. The artwork is always needed two days ago. So I did the initial sketch in about ten minutes. But here's the thing: the people who'll be looking at it have NO imagination whatsoever. None. If they did, they wouldn't have MBA's. Knowing this, I made it as finished as I could while still realizing there'd be inevitable changes. I inked it, erased any stray pencil lines, scanned it and did a quick color job. Elapsed time: approximately one hour. And this clever group of people got together and said...

"Okay, now put a cowboy hat on him. With some beads on the back, like Charlie Daniels. And a guitar! Should it be electric or acoustic? Go with acoustic! And put the word 'DUDE' in big letters behind him! My four- and six-year olds love that word! Cartoon characters say that all the time!"

Of course they do. Teenage Mutant Ninja Guitar-playing Cowboy Turtles Who Sorta Look Like Verne From 'Over The Hedge' say "dude" all the time.

Luckily, this process didn't continue for days on end, because they were too far behind their own deadline to start fudging. But they do love to fudge, kiddies. One of the most horrifying experiences you'll ever face is presenting your work to a room full of people who have no imagination -- and worse, think they do. These are the same kinds of empty suits that keep greenlighting stuff like "Barnyard".

What you see below, my little padawans, is the end result of groupthink. It goes in my portfolio, because while not great, it's not horrifying either. Still, ignore my tale at your peril. It's not too late to get your MBA.

Cowboy, baby

2007-07-05T09:29:00.001-04:00

A few years ago, the shy and reserved Kid Rock played our local Riverbend Festival. Aside from the multitudes of people who were shocked - shocked - that the Kid actually used profanity, his performance went over pretty well. Our local freebie fishwrap commissioned me to do the cover that year. I see about a trillion things I could've done better, but... ah, well.

Once upon a time...

2007-07-03T21:59:00.000-04:00

A few years ago I did a weekly strip for a local free newsrag. I called it "Wicked Business". (Hey, the same title of this blog. What were the odds?) The premise was simple: it was about the Devil, and how he and his fellow little demons tried to protect their tiny, peaceful village from Gargamel.

I kid. It was about a middle-aged woman who worked in a Minneapolis news station, where she and her wacky co-workers got in all sorts of hijinks. I cast the Devil as Ted Baxter.

Regardless of what it was about, there's only one end result that matters: it stunk. But for the sake of posterity, I present to you the first strip. Don't bother asking to see the rest -- I have the same reaction to them as Dick Cheney has to sunlight. Enjoy!

Still freakin' sweet

2007-07-03T21:32:00.000-04:00

I originally did this as a 2004 holiday card. Gotta add this to the gallery because it makes me all giddy and warm inside.

To any and all who are fellow Red Sox faithful, enjoy.

And to those who choose all things unholy and pinstriped?

Nyah nyah nyah.

Yes, he actually draws

2007-07-03T13:53:00.001-04:00

If you stick around long enough, you'll notice the majority of my stuff is done on the computer. Recently, I've had a lot of friends complain about this, as if it were cheapening my skills to use Illustrator or CorelDraw. Which is silly, of course. I don't know many people who don't use a Wacom, or color in Photoshop. I do understand that depending solely on the computer to do one's work is a mistake. Emphasis on using one media doesn't mean it's okay to neglect the others.

So, I'm posting these very rough sketches for one reason alone: to prove that I really do draw on good old-fashioned paper, and really do use good old-fashioned pencils, pens and brushes. I usually never use anything more sophisticated than a non-repro blue pencil or even the old No. 2 soft lead. Why? No reason, I suppose. That's the way I've always done it.

Anyway, more terrible doodles:

More attempts at character design

2007-07-03T12:11:00.000-04:00

I work for a virtual school dedicated to teaching a full curriculum of subjects for Grades 9-12. One of the really cool things about my job is I'm learning more about Flash animation everyday. The following are first attempts at doing character design for a English course on "How to Put Together a Newspaper".

Here goes nuthin'

2007-07-03T11:45:00.000-04:00

Huh. Been contemplating for awhile whether or not I should start posting my cartoons online. How dumb is that, anyway? I've been designing professionally for thirteen years, yet it's only been recently that I've started drawing for my own pleasure. And why haven't I posted before? Cowardice, my friends. Sheer cowardice. Well, no more. Here's the first salvo of "Crap Alex Done Drawed". Enjoy.

Addendum: "Underdog" was always a huge favorite of mine as a kid -- it was fun re-imagining Underdog, Simon and Riff-Raff. I also happen to think the new movie will stink on ice and anyone who watches it will have their IQ's drop at least thirty points.